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December 30, 2008
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1) try soaking your head in a bucket of ammonia. in 5 minutes, if you are
still alive, repeat as necessary till dead...

2) cut your balls off (if you have them)

3) cut your head off with a razor blade and go into extreme ecstacy

4) drink a gallon of JD with a dab of Nitrogrycerin and jump up and down
vigirously

5) fart in a balloon and light a match

6) eat the stuff between your toes with a teaspoon of pepper and a drop of
vinegar

7) fart in front of the meanest, fattest, teacher while bending over to
pick up the pencil that you mistakenly (yeah, right!) dropped

8) eat shit and die.....

9) try inhaling a black widow

10) be gay

11) marry ororchimaru

12) try to do the running long jump over the Hudson river

13) or maybe try skydiving underwater......

14) try to katch the first nuclear missle headed towards the U.S.A.

15) sit on a pitchfork

16) cement yourself into the Great Wall of China

17) attach yourself to the Good Year Blimp

18) buy a $400 piece of software and then find it up on the AE the next day

19) become a terrorist

20) slide down a banister with a long, fat spike at the end

21) slide down a razor blade

22) fuck a slut that has a pair of scisssors up her cunt

23) take a bath with 1 (or 2) fingers in an electrical socket

24) sit on an Exacto knife and spin!

25) cross a highway blindfolded

26) inspect the Space Shuttle's engines during takeoff

27) do whatever your parents say...

28) roll down the Empire State Building's stairway in a sleeping bag

29) sleep late on a Saturday....

30) not seeing that bullet heading straight between your eyes

31) "Hey look! What's that knife in my stomach?"

32) "No, no please don't! Please don't push me off this ----", smack!
splash! gargle... thump.

33) eat that cake that's been sitting in the fridge for 2 months

34) "Hey Jack, eat that colony of green stuff moving across your plate!"

35) Stick a straw in a septic tank and take a sip.

36) try skiing over a tree (or around it, or under it, or into it)

37) try katching a spiked boomerang...

38) try picking your brain via your nose...

39) squeeze yourself into a microwave (and don't forget to turn it on [duh!])

40) listen to E.F. Hutton

41) leap off a 20 story building onto a sharpened steel sewage grating

42) sleep at the bottom of an elevator shaft

43) stick your hand ,or foot if desired, in a food processor

44) get your ear caught in the spokes of your bike while riding down a hill

45) stick your hand in a paper shredder

46) have your car compacted at a junkyard, and give the guy a buck to let you
sleep in it

47) sit on a scorpion

48) get your head caught in a beehive

49) sleep in your washing machine (or dryer for extra fluffyness)

50) loose the only key to your father's brand new Rolls Royce

51) sleigh ride off your roof

52) straddle a 'No Parking' sign

53) drink a gallon of gasoline and have some tabasco sauce

54) fall asleep at the bottom of a garbage incinerator [you know, the shutes
you throw the garbage down if you live in a high rise]

55) skydive into an exploding volcano (if you live through this, contact me
on the Circus BBS 201-592-0456)

56) cement yourself into the middle of a highway

57) volunteer to be a subway brake

58) light a smoke bomb and swallow.!$%&*!^%*#&$*?%!@.?

59) drag yourself along the road, hanging on the back of a Mack truck

60) wait at the bottom of the Empire State Building while your friend drops a
spear off the top, straight through the center of your head (and the rest of
you)

61) glue yourself to the way bottom of an ocean liner [while it's going]...

62) lounge in a pool obNasoline and light that big fat cigar in your mouth

63) climb up the telefone pole and lick the electric wires

64) look in the mirror [ha ha! just kiddin'!]

65) go to Russia

66) slingshot yourself into the Sun [not quite..]

67) put some iodine crystals in a whoopy cushion - sit on it!

68) volunteer to be a nuclear warhead

69) <- eat your girlfriend out when she uses a sulfuric acid douche

70) eat a piece of Uranium

71) lick a scientist's chemical lab table before he cleans up!

72) get your nose caught in an exhaust pipe while the car is running

73) go swimming while wearing Mr.T's heavy jewelery around thy neck

74) run a razor blade down the middle of your face!

75) take a chainsaw, cut your head into thirds

76) get caught on the nose of the Concorde

77) in your science class, turn on all the gas outlets, light a match

78) get drunk and be processed through a doughnut molding factory

79) volunteer to rent out your head as a soccer ball

80) eat your school cafeteria's poison of the day

81) slurp nuclear waste

82) stab yourself in 100 (and 1) places

83) try to swallow a (King) Cobra

84) get your arm caught in the wheel of a train

85) your running 40 m.p.h. - your foot katches onto a bloody sewage grating

- you trip and fall - 40 m.p.h. - on your face!

86) bend both your knees and elbows - backwards! [snap!]

87) ski off a cliff

88) shuv a pipebomb up your ass

89) fart and smell up a crowded elevator [watch the reaction!] - announce
that you let it go - kiss your ass goodbye!

90) cut your circulation off with a giant Band-Aid (tm)

91) mail yourself to the smallest P.O. box in the country

92) pick a fight with Sylvester Stallone

93) try to catch a Roadrunner

94) beat the shit out of yourself [take a spaz!]

95) you take a final relaxing dip in a pool of gasoline - you hang yourself
from a branch of a tree - light the bonfire under you!

96) tie each of your ankles to the bumper of 2 cars and let them back out
in different directions - Slowly!

97) go to your local deli and by mistake put your best hand on the meat
slicer, and of course turn it on - press down firmly as the slices of your hand
fall neatly into the palm of the other hand

98) try writing this G-Phile

99) put it this way - commit suicide!

100) Do all of the above [in order!]
>D
:iconburningsong:
burningsong Featured By Owner May 6, 2011  Student General Artist
How does being gay kill you?
Reply
:iconthecookie1395:
TheCookie1395 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
amazing, now i know how to kill my friends and lol at the same time!
Reply
:iconxxxspartaxxx:
xXxSPARTAxXx Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2009
awesomeness.
Reply
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